I am writing this post grace à the generator from Kongolo, a city without electricity. Our field site here definitely has its own problems. And I'm not going to lie. Being here is hard. There is conflict, injustice, and frustration I have never known within our small FHI site. Yet I am called to love, and that is all I can try and do. I know that investing in our staff here and reminding them of the high calling we each have is my purpose here.After having been here for 4 days, I can truly say I see so much hope. The natural beauty here is incredible; the women have associations to raise goats for a livelihood that also have the goals of sensitizing the population to the violence against women and ending poverty; visions of hydro-power and the advancement of their society are strong. I am impressed by the fervor and creativity I have seen here, and pray for the potential to be fully realized.
Today I had the opportunity to share the Word during devotions. I shared from Hebrews 11 about the encouragement I am receiving from the cloud of witnesses that has gone before us and that surrounds us even today. I felt led to encourage the staff to have faith, which is just as much a word for myself. I felt so unworthy to be given the power to share the Word...yet each staff member encouraged me, giving me the same undeserved grace Christ has giv
en me.The past two days I have visited roads we have rehabilitated, seen our water source (see picture), meandered around Congo on a moto, interviewed beneficiaries, talked to our own staff, and enjoyed every minute of it. For those of you who are suffering from cold weather or perhaps a snow storm, enjoy it. Honestly, I am sweating EVERY MOMENT OF EVERY DAY.
Since I have been in Congo, a constant struggle for me is having faith. I don't have the answers to reconcile the pain and suffering here with the reality of Christ's promises. Yesterday during lunch, our site coordinator, (well the acting coordinator...it's complicated) was asking questions to James and I (James is the 21-yr old British guy who has taken on the responsibility of what should be two expat jobs: he's my hero). So why didn't President Bush come to Congo? Why does the U.S. do nothing for us? Why does no one care? Is death and suffering tolerated here but no where else in the world?
And here I am asking myself the exact same questions. I just broke down crying. Not having the answers or even anything to say is so hard. And with so much pain and truth flowing from the question! The history of oppression and ignorance from the West is traumatizing, especially when you are sitting face to face with the oppressed. Before I came to Congo, did I even have the slightest idea that 5.4 MILLION PEOPLE have died in this country over the past 10 years?
Truly, I don't have the answers. This does not determine my effectiveness; but I do know I have to make a choice each day to live by faith.
1 comments:
walk that line lisa (yes, that line...i will explain in a ginormous parenthetical. i went to some of the HNGR symposium and one of the speakers put the dilemma of working among the impoverished...walk the line between romanticizing them and falling into despair. i think that's what you're doing quite well. good work. you're so you.)
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