"La vie est compliquée..."

Life is complicated. But God is here. The conclusion to nearly every conversation I have with believers. So much of my personal growth here over the past two and a half months has come in accepting the complexity of so much in this life, yet at the same time reveling in the simplicity of Christ. I am learning to live in the mystery.

The hardest thing for me is to find the balance between despair and hopelessness. By despair I mean the incapacitating emotional response that can flood one's reaction to suffering, and with hopelessness, I am referring to a hardening of the heart which concedes to the sin and pain in the world. I know that responding appropriately to this complicated life will continue to be a challenge. However, I am confident that my strength and endurance will come from the greatest power of all.

I promised an update on my trip to the bush. So here it is. The remainder of my time in Katanga was spent visiting bridges we had rehabilitated, meeting with beneficiaries, and hanging around on Lake Tanganyika. Near the end of my trip, I received an opportunity to visit Goma, the capital of North Kivu and the most recent fighting. The surrounding areas (more or less the bush) are the center of the fighting between the five main rebel groups in the Congo. I honestly didn't think I would get to see Goma, so I jumped at the chance to visit.

The first day we, our country director, regional programs manager, and I (the intern) arrived in Goma, we visited potential sites for FHI. First we checked out a road (which you can hardly call a road) that needs to be rehabilitated in order to reach the IDPs (Internally Displaced People) that are currently unreachable by vehicle and unable to receive aid. I believe we received approval for this road rehabilitation (or road construction in this case) and already have a car on our way there! This will be our first time as FH Congo to work in North Kivu!

We also evaluated an IDP camp for a Water/Sanitation project. Upon finding the latrines overflowing, our WAT/SAN specialist, Augustin, proved the incredible need in the IDP camps. Before this trip I didn't fully comprehend the complexity found in the frustration and jealousy of the villages in which IDPs pour into. Despite the fact that the IDPs flee their homes in fear and with nothing, the village members see that they themselves are poor. Therefore, they cannot comprehend why food and benefits are pouring only into these camps, which crowd and pollute their villages. This envy leads to hatred and elitism and more unnecessary suffering. The picture above was taken after our country director asked who had lost a family member during the war. The effects of war are clearly far-reaching and without bias.

Our final day in Goma was spent meeting with UN and USAID figures as well as attending security seminars. Aya, a woman I definitely respect, is the Head of Office for the United Nations World Food Programme in North Kivu. She has been working in Eastern Congo for six years, and before that she was with the United Nations in other conflict zones such as Liberia and Sierra Leone. We were invited to her office to hear about her fifteen years of experience in the relief realm as well as learn what more could be done in relief and development in North Kivu. Aya shared with us a traumatic experience in which she was running for her life. One day as she accompanied a WFP truck to a feeding center outside of Goma, she turned a corner and saw rebels commit two murders, simply for shoes and bicycles. Entering unknowingly into these circumstances, Aya found herself running into the village to hide under a bed in a home and escape the death threats of the rebels following her, “Mzungu, we’re going to kill you, Mzungu, we’re going to burn you.” Despite the fact that the issues around Goma are huge and often impersonal, the problems in North Kivu became personal for me through her experience and even more so the voices of the displaced.

During our short visit at the IDP camp in Minova, I met a young boy names Fidèle, which means faithful. We didn't get to talk too long, but I was given insight into this little boy's thoughts. From his perspective, the white cars that kept showing up and doing nothing were a waste. He was referring to the white cars carrying the white people making evaluations and doing nothing. Yet in his innocence, he was able to capture my biggest question. How does relief and development work be tangible and practical, yet at the same moment bring a spiritual transformation that is only possible through the power of Christ? How do you quantify a spiritual change? How do I have a healthy balance in my contribution to Christ's work: being His hands and feet while at the same time delivering His truth with my mouth? Of course, both are needed. But in the field, it's easier said than done to combine the two.

There is power in the promises of God.

Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, 'This is the way; walk in it.' Isaiah 30:21